Intentional Listening—An Essential Skill for a Leader
How would I define intentional listening? A desire to hear and understand someone's thoughts during a conversation.
Two different experiences have compelled me to write on this subject.
First experience: I was catching up with a friend whom I hadn’t spoken to in six months. The discussion felt like it was taking an interesting direction, at least for me. While we were talking, another friend came running up with his phone and showed a picture to the guy I was talking to while I was midsentence. At this moment, the friend I was talking to turned away from our conversation and focused on the other friend's phone. He got excited about the image and turned away from me while I was still speaking. I left the table, and he never noticed. I stayed some feet away, waiting to finish my thought. Nope! He forgot about me altogether.
Second experience: My wife and I were talking to a good friend at church. She looked at her watch while we were in conversation and said, "I must go." She stood up and was ready to walk away, but suddenly sat down and said: "I really need to go, but please finish your thought. I want to hear it before I leave."
A leader must develop intentional listening. At a minimum, listening can be simply standing in front of someone you lead and, by doing so, fulfilling part of your job description. It's the intentionality that is vital for a Christ-centered leader. In the Scriptures, intentionality is present in many of Jesus Christ's actions and behaviors. His willingness to connect, serve, and teach the disciples and the crowd is recorded in many passages. That same direction is given to us in Matthew 22:39, "Love your neighbor as yourself." Intentional listening reveals love and care for the speaker, the same love and care you would expect from someone listening to you.
Are you willing to lead like Jesus by developing your intentional listening?
Eduardo Mendes
Founder and President
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