Intentional Listening — An Essential Skill for a Leader

How would I define intentional listening? A desire to listen to and understand someone’s thoughts during a conversation.

Two different experiences pushed me to write about this topic.

First experience: I was catching up with a friend I hadn’t spoken to in six months. The conversation seemed to be headed in an interesting direction, at least to me. As we talked, another friend came running over with his phone and showed a picture to the person I was speaking with, right in the middle of one of my sentences. At that moment, the friend I was talking to turned toward the other friend’s phone and checked out of our conversation. He got excited about the image and drifted away from me while I was still speaking. I got up from the table, and he didn’t even notice. I stood a few feet away, waiting to finish my thought. Nothing! He had completely forgotten about me.

Second experience: my wife and I were talking with a dear friend at church. She looked at her watch while we were talking and said, "I need to go." She stood up and was ready to leave, but then, all of a sudden, she sat back down and said, "I really do need to go, but please finish your thought. I want to hear it before I leave."

A leader should develop intentional listening. At the very least, listening can simply mean standing before someone you lead and, in doing so, fulfilling part of your job description. It is intentionality that is vital for a Christ-centered leader. In Scripture, intentionality is present in many of Jesus Christ’s actions and behaviors. His willingness to connect, serve, and teach the disciples and the crowd is recorded in many passages. The same direction is given to us in Matthew 22:39: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Intentional listening reveals love and care for the person speaking—the same love and care you would hope to receive from someone listening to you.

Are you willing to lead like Jesus by developing your intentional listening?

—