Leadership Is All About Relationship and Influence

Leadership is about relationships and influence.

Have you ever seen a child scream and throw a tantrum to get what they want? In Brazil, we have a saying for that: "win by yelling." The child believes that forcing a specific behavior will make their parents do whatever they want. Good parents will not allow that behavior because of the negative impact it will have on the child’s future.

Some people believe leadership is built around the same "win by yelling" theory. Leaders try to assert their leadership through force and manipulation to get what they want. Sometimes this shows up when a leader raises their voice or uses their position to make sure their ideas win. They may get their way in the short term, but all it really reveals is a lack of leadership.

People want to serve leaders whose vision they believe in. Leadership is about relationships and influence, not position, status, or forcing your way to what you want. When relationships and influence are established, trust takes root. When trust takes root, relationships—and organizations—flourish. If none of that happens, it’s only a matter of time before things get complicated.

Leadership is something to be built and earned, regardless of your position. Don’t try to win your leadership by yelling! Sooner or later, you’ll realize you missed the opportunity to succeed and to have a team that trusts you. Successful leadership happens when you deliver results while building relationships at the same time.